My Beloved Doodles

Hi,

I just wanted to give a dedication page to my wonderful dog Doodles who had passed away a couple of years ago.

Today is the two-year anniversary of the death of my dog Doodles.  Her actual name is Sydney, but for some reason we called her Doodles.  She was the sweetest Labrador Retriever.   She was 12 years old and passed away of cancer.  She was more than my best friend, she was family.  I don’t talk much about her anymore, but I think of her everyday.  Excuse me this is hard to  write.  Every night before I go to bed I say my prayers to God and I always ask him to tell my precious Doodles that I love her and to be sure to give her a kiss on the nose and a Trader Joe’s bone for me.  Those bones were her favorite amongst the other foods she loves.

 

I truly miss my best friend!  I cry at the thought of her not being here.  Putting her down was the hardest thing I have ever done and I regret doing that so much.  I wish I had another answer, but I couldn’t watch her suffer anymore.  That day we took her to the vet,I hugged her and she kissed me on the nose, I think she knew.  I can’t write about this anymore.  All I can say is I still till this day can’t watch the ending of Marley and Me, because that is what it felt like but worse because it was real life.

I wrote this two years ago on Facebook and I am not going to read it right now.  I will post some pictures of her for you to see.  Bless you my beautiful dog!  I love you and I am so sorry, please forgive me.  I love you!!!

From Facebook

It’s funny they say she just a dog and at one of those time I was that person. I didn’t understand a dog where I was always a cat person. Then one day my boyfriend said lets get a dog. I was still unsure, but agreed to getting a dog anyway. We drove in the winter to Warsaw NY and saw a bunch of yellow lab puppies. I saw one that liked me, but my boyfriend said I want this one. She was white, fluffy, cute and had a pink nose. I said ok. This dog that I was bringing home didn’t want anything to do with me. I thought OMG, what am I doing. After having her for a week, I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want her anymore. She was up crying all night and I was so exhausted. I never knew having a dog would be so tough. The poor guy thought what am I going to do with her if my girlfriend doesn’t want her anymore?
Then one day it changed! I don’t know what happened, but the next thing I knew my best friend was there everyday to greet me when I came home. We named her Sydney after the character on Melrose Place.

Now that I have this precious pup, I couldn’t imagine life without her. She was a HUGE part of my family. Actually she was my family. See my Mom and sister moved to California and it was just me left behind, by my choice. My dog Sydney became my child. I took her everywhere with me. I remember we took her camping in Cooperstown, NY and what was funny she didn’t know how to swim. Can you imagine a yellow lab not knowing how to swim? We threw her off the boat and she sank. I jumped in and grabbed her and we taught my sweet Sydney how to swim. Ever since then she couldn’t get enough water. We used to take her fishing with us all the time. At first she was great! She would sit there and watch us catch the fish. If you, and still to this day say “I got one”, she would get all excited and start to bark. After a couple of years of taking her on the boat with us, she started to get bold. When we would release the fish back into the water she would try to jump in to get the fish. The one time we were in the marina and she jumped out of the boat to chase the ducks, I freaked out because a sailboat was coming straight for her. We took the big fishing net and grabbed her. After that we didn’t take her with us so much. I do remember one time docking the boat at Hamburg beach and we would play in the sand with her. If we threw a rock in the water, she run after it and stick her head under the water to retrieve the rock, What a silly dog. She always knew how to make me laugh. My step dad used to grab her near the butt and make a noise and she would shoot off like a rocket, running around like a maniac. It was a funny sight to see. She used to like to embarrass us to, because when people would come over she would scoot on the floor. She seemed to do that to make people laugh and we would just turn red.

Her Nickname Doodles came from a song Little Jenny was writing for her music class. It was called Pupperdoodlebutts, After that we started to call her Doodles. My Doodles was very much a lady dog. She loved getting her hair blowed dried. In the morning when I would do my hair she would stand there waiting for me to do hers. She also like to wear clothes and necklaces. My sister Nancy made her a necklace and she wore that for a long time. I am not sure if she liked all this feminine stuff or she just liked the attention? She was a good dog, she never chewed apart her toys or any of the furniture in the house. She had a stuffed animal that was a pink cat that she got for Christmas one year. I have to say 10 years later and she still has that cat, a little chewed up but still in one piece. She carried that baby with her, it was her way of saying “hey I’m tired, time for bed” and she took her baby to bed with her every night. I slept last night with baby at the end of my bed in hoped my Doodles will come home. This dog seemed to survive everything! She ate a corn cob whole and it stayed in her system for a month and it finally came out. She ate a whole bag of Three Musketeer Bars and she survived but had psychedelic poo poo’s for a while, since she ate the wrappers and all. I remember the one night I was laying in bed and I went to pet her and felt something hard, I looked at her and she had a box of bones stuck and I mean stuck on her head. She made it up the stairs and into bed with this box stuck on her head. She just loved her bones! Another time I bought one of those huge economy size boxes of bones from Costco and when I came home from work she had a fat tummy. She ate what I thought was a whole box of bones. Well to my surprise for a month or so I would find bones in the cushions of my couch, under my bed, under my covers, in the closet, everywhere. I thought I found them all but nope, I would catch her munching on a bone. Can you believe she hid them throughout the house? She was a smart dog especially when it came to food. Ever since I got her I don’t think I ever burnt a meal. She would come and get me when my water would boil or about 30 second before the timer went off. She always knew when dinner would be done. I think in a past life she was a chef. She was one dog that could not get enough food. She would sit in the kitchen with a smile on her face waiting for me to drop a piece of something. I tried not to give her people food, but that was hard considering she would give me that please Mom look. You could say I kind of spoiled her. He he I couldn’t help it. My dog has been through it all! She has been on a plane, she drove cross country twice and was so good. She was always happy as long as she was with you.

When we bought our house in California she was happy because she had a pool and a place to run around. Most of my life I lived in an apartment, so I was happy to give her a yard to play in. She just loved the pool! She would jump in to get the ball and she liked to lay on the raft. Two days ago being sick and all she jumped on that raft and laid there. She wanted to swim, but I told her she was to weak to. I took her out of the pool and dried her off. She also loved to watch me plant. You know when they say “you need to stop and smell the roses”. Well that was my dog! She never ate my plants and she smelled everyone that I brought home. She loved flowers! I used to make soaps and when I would bring home new fragrances, I would ask her to smell. She would tell you which ones she liked. If she liked them, she would just stand there, but if she didn’t like the smell she would back up and shake her head no. Her favorite scents were Apple and Cucumber. She used to smell everything! When I would bring home clothes or anything from the store she would want me to show her. She would stick her head in the bag and look. She was like a girlfriend of mine. My Doodles just loved life. People tell me all the time that she is lucky and spoiled. I didn’t treat her like a dog but I treated her as my friend/child. I will miss coming home from work and looking in my front window. She had an ottoman that she would lay on, just waiting for you to come home. I would wave to her every time I would come home or leave. She was the reason I loved to be at home. I would grab her food dish and she would bounce down the hallway waiting for me to fill her dish. She was my little shadow! Everywhere I went she was there to and I wouldn’t of had it any other way. I could go on with stories about my precious Doodles for hours, but I won’t.

The past few months she was feeling ill, so my husband took her into the vet and we found out she had a blocked intestine. He said he could perform surgery on her, but made no guarantees. See last year she had surgery because she had several tumors that were cancer and we needed to remove them. That seemed so hard then, but not as hard as last nights decision was. I guess I should be thankful that God gave me another year with her. The past couple of weeks she was getting more and more sick. I had to make her chicken and rice for dinner and eventually she stopped eating all together. She was getting sick non-stop and all she did was rest. I took her a couple of weeks ago for a ride and it seemed to lift her spirits. I am glad I did that for her. When I looked into her eyes all I would see pain. She was a trooper for putting up for the pain as long as she did. My friend said she stayed around for me and I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t want her to suffer because of me. What kind of person/Mother would I be. I stayed home from work yesterday because I told her I would. My husband called me and told me it was time and I had to make an appointment for the vet. I did and at 4:20pm we had to put her to sleep. On the car ride down she asked me to scratch her chest and she gave me the softest kiss on the nose. See she would bow her head and I would kiss it and she would always kiss my nose. She was smiling on that ride down, I don’t know if she knew what was happening? We took her in and the vet asked are you sure you want to do this? I didn’t want to do this, but we did because it was only right. I held her head and kissed her non-stop until she was gone. I asked her to forgive me and that I love her more then anything. My Doodles had a good life and she was she was more then a dog, she was my life. Rest in Peace my sweet Doodles. I will always love you and I miss you terribly. I would give anything for you to come back to me. I love you!

Rest in Peace my Doodles – January 24, 1997 – September 23, 2009

 

Comments

  1. Look @ those smiles!

  2. Rachel Holder says:

    You look beautiful in this photo! Your dog was beautiful too.

  3. I had not expected to see this when I clicked on this tab but it made me smile. I just found your site today (thank you Pinterest), but knw know I found a fellow animal lover. I currently have a 6 year old Lab and had a Dalmatian before him. If I had a blog I’d totally have a page dedicated to my past nimals too ;-). Gotta get off this computer and get some rest. And come back and look at your site ain tomorrow. Have a good night…

    • Jennifer @ Peanut Butter and Peppers says:

      Hi Jackie! I couldn’t have a blog without my precious Doodles. She’s apart of me. It’s amazing how animals become part of our lives. I now have two dogs to love, ones a lab and the other is a golden retriever. You have to love labs, they have such funny personalities. Give your baby a big hug before you go to bed!! Sweet dreams!

  4. Hi! This photo is sooo lovely!

  5. I also have a mixed 4 year old lab (found on the highway at 4 months) and also a Golden Retriever who is three. I have had dogs all my life and they are a part of your family. I lost my Golden about 4 years ago to cancer and I think of him daily and still have his pictures up. He was the best dog in the world and I miss him so much. I wish they could live a longer life. Your Doodles was precious and loved so much!!!
    MJP

    • Ahhhh, I’m so sorry about your loss. It’s so hard because there more then dogs, there family! I wish they lived longer too, it’s not fair that they have such a short life. I pray to my Doodles every night ans ask God to give her a bone along with a hug and kiss!!

  6. I cried my eyes out! My dogs are rescue dogs! I know dogs love and therefore know God because God is love. Jesus knows even the time when creatures fall like the sparrow. I know my love is in heaven with my lost family and beloved pets.
    Thank you for loving your dog and telling your story.
    Michelle

  7. Oh my gosh, I just read all about your sweet Doodles…my heart just melted at the sight of her “smiles” in these photos. She was beautiful and I can tell by her facial expressions that she was a super awesome dog. We have a 80lb pointer that is our baby, so I know how special it is to have a furry buddy. I am so sorry that you had to put her down. I put down our elderly kitty last year and it was awful. I cried all the way home. Your dedication to Doodles is special and very touching. :)

    • I know it’s so hard to put an animal down. I still cry if I thikng about it. that last day was the hardest day in my life. I still don’t understand why there life span is so short? I’m sorry about your kitty. I lost my cat after 14 years with her shortly after Doodles passed. Thank you for your kind words. :)

  8. oh my gosh what a super sweet story. i cried reading it, because i know how much this sweet girl meant to you. animals have a way of just being there for us and as cliche as it sounds, they truly become our best friend. i love all the pics of doodles, she was one fine lookin lady! :) all the best.
    p.s. i love that you tell god each night to kiss her for you. soooo sweet. xo

  9. jennifer~i commented on this sweet story while i was at work today and i dont think it ever showed up. i literally cried reading your story, as i could just feel the love. i think that any pet owner can relate to all the things you speak of and i can tell that you loved this pretty gal so much! i love that you tell god to kiss her for you. made me smile. hugs to you! i am your latest follower! xo

  10. Jennifer – I, too, had a female lab (Tahoe) that looked much like your Doodles. This week is the 1 year anniversary of her death and I tear up each time I think of it. She lived to 14 but the worst day of my life was putting her to sleep. She was my best friend and I pray for her each night, too. Even my young kids still talk about her and pray for her to be running through fields of flowers in heaven. I think God brought me to your blog today. Now we have a sweet Rosie Belle (who also looks just like Tahoe and Doodles) and I know I will come to love her just as much.
    I just wanted to say that Doodles looks so happy in your pictures. Clearly you gave her a wonderful home full of happiness, comfort, adventure and love. She looks like she’s laughing and smiling at the camera.
    Aren’t we blessed with these sweet, precious souls who ask so little and give a world of love and joy in return? Thank you for posting about your Doodles. All the best.

  11. Jennifer, I’m ever so sorry about Doodles. I too had to do the same thing for my Yorkie “Precious”. She had a tumor in her chest that we treated with Chemo, Radiation & pills. Nothing worked. She also was having seizures that were getting worse & worse. So we thought long and hard before making that dreadful decision to end her suffering. That was the worse thing I ever had to do. I still cry like a baby for doing that. She & Doodles are at piece and I’m sure they forgive us and understand why it was done. Need to stop writing now. Your Doodles was a beautiful baby. Hang in there Jennifer.
    Sincerely

    • Thank you Barb for your wonderful comment. I am terribly sorry for your loss. As you know, I know how hard it is. Like you I still cry like a baby when I think of it. Your right Precious and Doodles are in a better place right now and there with us everyday!!

  12. From a dog lover of a “certain age”. You should not feel guilty at all; in fact, you should be proud of yourself for making that extremely hard decision. When the quality of life is greatly reduced, it is our responsibility to take that final step for a pawed companions. It would have been selfish to keep her around just because you couldn’t stand to let her go. Letting go when necessary is true love!

  13. thank you for these lovely pictures. You and Sydney/Doodles clearly love each other so much. I lost my yellow Lab at age 14 last year, and understand how hard it is … you can just never get over that entirely. But you can look back at these photos and see how happy you made her, and know you gave her a wonderful life. I am grateful that there are people like you (and me, and others posting here) who truly understand a dog’s love. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Cecilia DeLong says:

    She was beautiful and lucky to have you!

  15. I happened to come across your page. I cried as I read your beloved Doodles story. I too had a lab who I had to put to sleep. Her name was Baby. She was my first fur baby and five years of her being a part of my life my daughter was born. She was our companion through all the sad and happy times she was by our side. Its been five years and I still think if her and miss her. I will never forget my little girl, Baby.

    • Ahhhh, Baby sounds like such a sweet dog. Doodles was my first fur baby and now I have two more. I know it’s so hard after all these years how we still miss our furry companions, friends and family members. I just always keep in mind that our babies are with us always.

  16. I also had a yellow lab named Thomas, hei s the dog I measure all other dogs to. I know how you feel, it broke my heart when we had to put him to sleep, but it was time, even still in all the pain he was in he could muster a tail wag….awwww now I’m getting all emotional :(

  17. Elizabeth Haskell says:

    i just wanted to say ur story made me smile and cry.. i love my animals too, and one i have is half blind, and cant hardly walk, i told her i can let her go, she follows me even though it hurts her to do so, and i am very sick with lupus, and diabetes, and fibro, and other too many to mention.. but i am sure she is suffering to stay with me, she does eat and drink, other times does not eat much.. times she can barely walk she gets carried to the grass, but then she ups and runs a little, then stops again… is she saying still to keep her? or do the right thing and let her go? crying hard here.. i dont wish to lose her, i already lost my kitty 2 yrears ago… and when i most in pain she knows and comes to comfort me.. so we help each other… but your story helps me to know i might have to let her go… i just not sure i can… love you blog and ur site.. i love ur recipies alot… hugs u

  18. paula rager says:

    I cannot thank you enough for what I have found today!!! I am so excited to find some recipes that are compared to WW. The strawberry frappe is my ultimate favorite and I have the strawberries! You made my day in so very many ways.
    Thank you for all you do!! Look forward to much, much more!!!

  19. amelia (amy) says:

    Dear Jennifer…..I just wanted to post a very heartfelt thank you for sharing your story about your sweet dog Sydney(Doodles). We just lost our beloved yellow lab Jake two days ago. He was 13.5 yo and we are completely crushed. Jake was an avid hunting dog as well as a family member (never a pet). I am so lost without him, and we miss him so much. Like your lovely girl, he enjoyed his time near the water and we took him EVERYWHERE with us too. We live on our boat periodically throughout the summer and he was always with us. If we were nearing the lake, river, or creek he could smell it in the air and he would get incredibly excited. I wish I could share with you how incredibly special this dog was to me and all of his stories…..I hope to start a blog (any advice?) for people like us with dogs like Jake and Sydney. Like you, my family lives far away…..they are all in Colorado and I am here in northern Ohio on Lake Erie. Jake has been there for me through some very difficult times. My boy Jake was my first kid, and we were there for one another. He was diagnosed with canine oral cancer in January of 2000. He underwent an extensive maxillofacial surgery and lost half of his upper jaw (which he lived with for 3.5 additional beautiful years) without complication and he adjusted very well with the change. He beat cancer back then, only to have another form of it return this fall in his shoulder blade which our vet told us was arthritis (BIG MISS) and re-diagnosed it this year on Dec 2…….anyhow…..he fought the cancer fiercely through the fall and tried so hard to live a happy life. We were taking him for arthritis therapy the whole time, adequan and steroid injections, laser….believing we were helping when it was cancer. Just heartbreaking. Anyhow, I don’t mean to upset anyone, I am grieving my beloved Jake and it just helps to share our story with people that love their dogs/kids as much as we do and understand the tremendous impact those many years together have made on our lives. Thank you and God bless you, Sydney and our Jake.

    • I am so terribly sorry for your loss. As you know I understand. My Sydney was my first child too and I do miss her so much! It will never go away, which in the long run, it’s a good thing. Jake will be with you forever, looking down on you, watching and protecting you, like he always has. Cancer is just a horrible thing, and it’s crazy that animals can get that too. My heart really goes out to you and your family. This will be a tough time, but you will get through it. To help me get through it, I say my prayers every night and ask God to give Doodles a bone, a hug & a kiss and tell her I miss her. Again, I am so sorry and I am so glad you shared your story. God bless Jake and Sydney. {Hugs}

  20. Andrew Silverman says:

    Hi..I just found your site while scanning recipes on tastespotting. Then I read this portion about your beautiful lab. I just put down my best friend yesterday. My beautiful boy was a 13 year old chocolate lab. He contracted osteosarcoma about 5 months ago. In the end though arthritis took his legs from him and we could no longer watch him struggle to try to get around.

    I know your pain all too well and I can only hope that it will lessen for me. I feel like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz when he said ..”now I know I have a heart, because it’s breaking”…

    • Hi Andrew,

      I am terribly sorry for your loss. One of the hardest things is watching your precious baby in pain. I so understand, and the pain still sticks with me. You just have to think of all the good times you had together and how much your boy loved you and how he treasured all of the times you shared together. The pain will get easier in time and instead of being sad you will be happy knowing your boy is in a better place and know that you did the right thing. Plus you will smile and be happy when you remember all of your adventures you had with your best friend. I promise in time it will get easier. God Bless! Again I am so sorry.

  21. Hi Jennifer,
    I found your blog and story of your Doodles. There isn’t anything better in life than the unconditional love of a dog. I lost my angel Danae several years ago now and it still hurts everyday so I truly do understand your pain. Just remember that all dogs go to heaven. Your Doodles will always be there with you and is watching out for you. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi, I am so sorry for your loss of Danae. It’s crazy how an animal can come into our lives and becomes a member of the family. But not only are they a member of your family, but they also become your best friend, companion and the one that looks so forward to seeing you when you come home. You have to love seeing that tail wag when you walk in the door. :) It does get easier everyday and it always makes me smile knowing my Doodles is watching over and protecting me, same as Danae is doing for you. Thank you for the kind words.

  22. What a beautiful pup! It is so hard to lose a dog, we had to put mine down last year (a golden retriever named Rylie) and it is so hard still today. Great memories are cherished!

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